The Tangled Webs We Weave

Jan 31, 2019 | Love Story

What else to do on a freezing blizzard of a day, but reminisce of  warmer times past. One particular day came to mind that we are likely to never forget. Despite the warmth of the spring sunshine, we had chills running down our backs. It was the day Charlotte wove a tangled web that had us scrambling to unravel.

This is her story…

Poor Charlotte the Chifferobe is devastated and very upset with the Dustbin ladies. You see she had popped into our studio a couple of weeks ago clutching a very important document that she exuberantly, ok it was more like smugly, waved in our faces. What was that document you ask? Well, it was nothing more than a wedding invitation. Except it was that invitation, yes the royal kind! This dated worn and shabby chifferobe was going to the royal wedding next month. It turns out she’s a distant cousin to a fancy dresser that resides in the Queen’s personal bedroom, so she was included on the guest list.

Now here is the reason she’s upset with us. Charlotte wanted a makeover in order to look her best for the wedding. Apparently, she hadn’t been across the pond to see family for about 60 years so she wanted to show them all how gracefully she had aged and that she was more than worthy to be a guest at such a royal event. So, we did what we do. Scrubbed, cleaned, sanded, sealed and tightened. When the groundwork was done,  we applied glamorous and sophisticated coats of Country Chic Paint “Cheesecake”, a classic creamy colour.  Her stunning beveled mirror was taken off, cleaned and reattached with new Art Deco clips. The very slight patina adds the necessary charm and showcases her lineage. Her cedar interior wardrobe is fresh and clean and her hardware, after intense cleaning and polishing, has reclaimed its former glory and truly is the royal topping on the cake. After hours of sanding and choosing the discrete spots to distress, we waxed her to a buttery sheen and announced that her revival was complete! Charlotte was absolutely thrilled, actually over the moon, if watching a 70-year-old skip out the door was any indication.

So, Mama Dustbin and I were very shocked to find her back on our doorstep a couple of days later.  Miss Charlotte, it appeared, had gotten herself into a bit of trouble. With a flight booked to the UK, she trotted off to the airport where all of her problems began. She was refused entry on the plane, and worse yet had her passport revoked with a court date in the near future. Her crime you ask? Impersonation and attempting to fly on a stolen passport!

Of course, none of our Dustbin pieces are criminals or would ever deliberately commit a crime. Poor Charlotte was simply a victim of a makeover “gone too well”. Her passport picture was taken prior to her revival and no longer even remotely resembled the old Charlotte! Conclusions were drawn, Charlotte did a horrible job of explaining herself, and now we have a suspected criminal on our hands!

The Royal family caught wind of it all when Charlotte had the Immigration Officer Snap Chat all of her contacts a picture of her in handcuffs. Seemingly the Queen not only has Instagram but Snap Chat as well. Who knew? The wedding invitation was subsequently revoked and Charlotte is back in our care with the onus on us to clear her name. Needless to say Charlotte will need a home assuming she won’t serve time. She’s a practical and pretty wardrobe dresser combo with a room to hang clothes in her closet side, open shelves to drop your keys or display your favourite things, and three large lined drawers to store anything else.

We are pretty sure we can get her charges dropped so please don’t think twice if you are interested in her! Charlotte would be perfect in a hallway, front entrance, bathroom or bedroom.

EPILOGUE: Charlotte’s story went viral and the Queen’s fancy dresser set up a GoFundMe page in the event of a lengthy trial. Luckily the judge was so impressed by Charlotte’s transformation, he ordered all charges be dropped. As a result of all the publicity, we are expecting a few other “elderly” chifferobes to knock at the Dustbin door, so stay tuned!

Charlotte’s arrest didn’t hamper her adoption process and she can be found embracing farmhouse life. Rumour has it though, that she’s still telling anyone who will listen about her close call with the law and her affiliation with that family.

The “Love Story” Story!

All of our new arrivals come to us with a past. We lend a compassionate ear and listen to the tales they have to tell us about their former lives. Sometimes we have to bite our tongues and let them tell speak without judging or questioning the validity of their experience! We do our best to keep a straight face and offer up our best advice on their transformation. Sometimes it’s a hard sell, but they always come around.

All of the personalities featured as a Love Story in the Dustbin Blog have happily found their way to lovely new homes.



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Welcome to Dustbin!

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